When the bereaved are grieving they have a range of special needs that can often by met by sensitive relatives and friends who can understand some of what they are going through. Most do not need professional help to cope with their grief, but if friends avoid them or fail to understand their feelings the experience is much more difficult.
People are often unsure how to act around someone who is grieving which can further inhibit their healing. Here are some points that may assist in helping someone through the loss of a loved one.
Call them instead of saying "call me".
Be there for them if they do call you. If you need to give an excuse, make another date.
Listen. The best therapy can be talking, however they have to be ready to talk.
Don't assume they want to hear about how you were able to move on from your losses.
Avoid clichés like "they've gone to a better place" or "they had a good innings". It is better just to let them know you are sorry for their loss.
Reminisce with them if they are ready to talk. It can help to remember good times times past and share stories. Even talking about bad times can be a form of reconciliation.
Offer humour. It can help to laugh over the little jokes that were shared, funny anecdotes and sayings of the person.
Be patient. You may think they have grieved a long time but there are no time limits or rules on how long is too long. Some people take years to recover and some are never the same again.
If you feel you or someone you love may benefit from professional assistance or group discussion please phone 08 97225 311 or look at this list of organisations that may be able to assist.
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